Inside DJ Pengwen's Head

So, I’ve been fighting a cold the past few days, and up until yesterday, I was doing great!

And then it kicked my ass.

I stayed in bed most of yesterday with a wicked headache, fever, sore throat, and no appetite. Upside? I lost a few pounds =P

But, I broke the fever last night, and I’m much better. Woke up soaked in sweat (so hot, eh?), but that’s the cost of getting better I suppose.

Also, this morning, while I was brushing my teeth, I tried to turn off the running water by using the light switch. Was a glorious moment.

Hope you’re all doing fantastically well and amazing!

OH! 9 days until I move =D

Live well, rest well, be well <3

Until I move to Calgary. Until I can fully start living my life.

I am so excited. And incredibly happy.

Despite some ‘less-than-favorable’ events these past few months, and despite having been in a somewhat dark place temporarily during said events, I have to say, Edmonton wasn’t all that bad.

I’ve made some amazing friends (and maybe a few enemies). I’ve discovered a few things about myself, as well as finally got myself on track in the career field I’m most passionate about. I’ve figured out who I can call real friends, and who I needed to cut out of my life (though as we all know, this is usually an on going thing).

But, in the end, this city just isn’t for me, and I don’t feel I need to be here anymore. I hope my friends here continue to be happy and healthy, and I’m sure I’ll come up to visit as often as possible.

Live well, rest well, and be well. And above all, be happy, cause life is just too damn short to worry about all the bullshit =)

sweetupndown9:

I’ve had an entire 30 minute car ride home to fume over this tumblr, so bear with me. 

Tonight 2 really big games launched. Max Payne 3 (PC, PS3, Xbox 360) and Diablo 3 (PC). Another game also launched that I have been looking forward to since November… when I preordered it at work. It’s the Game of Thrones RPG.

I showed up to my store, in spite of the fact I get to be there super early tomorrow morning to work all day, to hang out with our regular customers, and my coworkers. We played some games (Nerf Gun target practice using our Max Payne Standee!!) I brought freshly baked cookies, we talked about upcoming titles we were all looking forward to. I always have a great time early on in our launch nights because it’s always a great group of customers who love gaming, and know everyone who works at my store by name. 

11:30 rolls around, and it’s time to head outside to let the employees set up product. At this point there is still less than 10 of us (I live in a small town. Clearly.) So we’re all hanging out in line, and more people start to show up. A group of 3 guys comes walking up to try and get into the store, and I let them know “Hey the door is locked. You have to get here earlier if you want to pre-pay your purchase.” So they go stand behind me, and the customer I’m sitting with. They say loudly “IS EVERYONE PUMPED FOR DIABLO?!?” A couple of people “Wahoo!” for them, and someone else chimes in “I’m picking up Max Payne!” I reply with “I’m grabbing a Game of Thrones!” Cause dude, I’m excited as hell. 

That’s when I get the response

“This is why women belong in the kitchen. You have shit taste in games.” 

EXCUSE THE HELL OUT OF ME. 

I replied with the typical (for me) response of “I didn’t realize having a vagina is what determined what I liked to play.” My friend (customer.) Josh who was standing between me, and aforementioned asshole bro turned and looked at him and said “Not cool dude. Why would you even say that?”

We turned our backs to the jerks, but I was already fuming.

I am a huge fan of the series. I’ve read all the books, the TV show is a weekly highlight. I spend plenty of time online reading or watching interviews, reading on the forums. I follow blogs dedicated to the series. I’m excited that the game is out! I get one more chance to immerse myself in the world of Westeros. Is it going to be game of the year? Well.. no, probably not. But It’s made by Atlus. A reputable developer. The story was written by George R. R. Martin, you know… the guy who wrote the books. I’m not looking for a phenonmenal game that is going to knock my socks off. I’m looking for a new perspective on a fictional world that I love. I am looking for a fun experience. How does that make my taste in games shit? And what on earth does my gender have to do with any of this? Why do I have to justify why I like things to people just to be seen as a valid gamer? 

I’m allowed to get excited about this game. I’m allowed to get excited about god damned Lego Harry Potter if I want. I’m still just as much of a gamer as mister hardcore Diablo over there.

I am picking up all 3 titles that launched tonight. Eventually cause damn games are expensive. I am going to love all of them. But out of the 3, I’m excited about GoT the most. That doesn’t merit getting insulted over.  

I’m so sick of this elitist attitude I run into at work on a daily basis. If I look forward to games like Lollipop Chainsaw, I have shit taste. Regradless of the fact it’s the same developer as Shadow of the Damned (which was amazing. BTW.) regardless of the fact the trailers are hilarious, and it looks like a solid hack and slash. It has a blonde girl with a chainsaw, and a silly name. It must be a shit game.

So many people forget that every game you play doesn’t have to be mainstream heavy hitting title to be an enjoyable experience. I have a broad range of interest in games. But, at the same time I look for unique features in games. Whether it’s the story line, or the online play, or the side quests, or co-op play. Or any combination of things that make gaming fun. I don’t just pick up a game because it’s what everyone is playing. I like games that fit my personality, and that doesn’t always mean stuff like Mass Effect, Skyrim, or Call of Duty. 

I realize this is long winded, and I shouldn’t care what a pair of jerks say to me at a midnight launch. But I run into this at every launch I’ve ever attended. I run into this almost daily at work. I get to have my gender thrown in my face in a way that clearly screams “YOU DON’T BELONG HERE.” I’ve just realized that no matter what I do, no matter what I say, or no matter what I play, I won’t be seen as a valid gamer by pretty much anyone except my few regulars. The only reason why I am seen as valid by those guys is because they’ve been around me for over a year. It took some convincing to earn my credit with them, but at least it’s there.

If I were just a gamer, this wouldn’t bother me as much. But my job is convincing people that I am a gamer, with a plethora of knowledge and tastes, and they should buy the things I suggest to them. It’s exhausting to constantly have to go the extra mile (in comparison to my co-workers.) simply because my gender invalidates pretty much any song or dance I do for my customers. 

/end rant. 

The fact that stuff like this still occurs (and a hell of a lot more than we like to admit), bothers the fuck out of me.

I mean, I game probably a third of what this young woman does, and I’d probably get called a gamer before she would. The thing is, I’m not really a gamer. I play games, when I have free time (or when I make free time for a release I’ve been waiting ages for), but that does not qualify me as a gamer, at least not in my eyes.

And, I kind of understand how she feels at work. I sell health & beauty products, and unless I “flame on”, most of our female customers think I’m full of shit, and I even then I still have difficulties making the sale at times. I personally hate playing a stereotypical gay, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Either way, I’ve been following her blog for a while now, and I have a very healthy respect for this woman. She’s brilliant, no matter what she talks about. Be it about the US Army, politics, or just her general rants. She’s intelligent, and actually knows her stuff.

But, these are my thoughts. If you’d like to form your own opinion, I suggest you follow her for a while.

Live well, rest well, be well =)